Instagram Mom Explains Why She’s Not Forcing Her Son To Complete His Homework
One mom took to Instagram to discuss her take on homework every night and it makes total sense. By Melissa Willets
Just a few days shy of the holiday break, my 5-year-old son told me he wanted to stay home to “be with mommy.” I promptly enjoyed some extra time cuddling and watching movies with my kindergartener, and didn’t feel even 1% guilty that he’d be missing a little school.
Flash forward to his first day back after the New Year, and my son returned home with a backpack stuffed to the brim with makeup work such as Santa-themed color-by-number sheets and cut-and-paste gingerbread house activities. I love his teacher endlessly so I hope she’ll forgive me, but I tossed that stuff right in the trash.
Here’s the thing: I value my child’s learning and dutifully help him complete his homework most nights. But once in a while, I simply decide to prioritize family time—or our sanity—over school. In this case, I felt pretty confident that the amount of stress we would both experience over completing dozens of pages of busy work just wasn’t worth it.
That's why I obviously vibe with a mom on Instagram who says she is striving to find the right school/life balance that works for their family—not for her child’s teacher. Like me, Jennifer B. loves her child’s teacher, but as she shares in her viral reel, “immediately recoiled” when she learned that her kindergartener was supposed to complete 20 assignments during the month of January.
The mom acknowledges that the teacher is doing her best to provide a curriculum that is challenging and appropriate for more than 20 students who are likely at different points in their learning journeys.
But, as Jennifer goes on to say, their family, which consists of two working parents, is also doing their best. “We cannot complete that level of homework without it taking away from other areas of our life right now,” she states, adding the examples of sleep, and spending time and eating together.
“Our best is going to look a little different than her expectations of us,” the mom concludes, going on to assert that she plans to share her point of view with the teacher. “It’s OK with me if [my son] doesn’t have a perfect homework grade,” the self-proclaimed recovering perfectionist then tells Instagram, which instantly stepped up to support her in the comments.
“Always, always put your family first and you’ll have no regrets,” one person said. “Wow. This has been eye opening. Thank you for helping me feel less pressure about my little kids’ homework,” someone else gushed. Even a few teachers stopped by the comments section to say they empathize with this mom, and don’t fault her at all for her plans to just say “no” to nightly homework for her son.
Now, parents of older kids, I know what you are thinking: This approach will never fly once you hit middle and high school—or even older grades in elementary school. Here’s where I tell you that I have a 13- and 15-year-old, and yes, finding a school/life balance looks very different at this stage, but the basic principles I practice with their little brother are the same. I still believe that school is very important, but I stand by the notion that getting perfect grades isn’t everything.
Just ask my teens. I tell them all the time that while I value a good report card, I also want them to be happy. If studying for a test for hours ends with tears, it’s not worth it. Scoring a “B” works too—and sometimes, a “C” is also OK. I’d rather have joyful, well-rounded kids who have time for family, friends, sports, and downtime, than straight-A students living under my roof. Of course, if getting straight-As makes my kids happy, I have no problem with that. But the pressure to perform at that level will not come from me.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not advocating for putting minimal effort into schoolwork. I want my kids to try their best and strive for excellence in school—as well as in all areas of their lives. Given our busy and complicated world, I also want to teach them something the school curriculum doesn’t: To take opportunities to slow down, and find joy in the everyday, to value family, and to figure out what true life balance looks like. Because I believe these lessons will serve them just as well as those found in textbooks in the next stages of their lives.
